The Gastronomer’s Gazette
The world is even more bizarre than you suspect it is. If you want to understand it, you have to look at the pillar of all life: food and drink. Without food and drink, we can’t live. Also, without food and drink, why would you want to? Let me tell you, if wine or cheddar ever runs out, I’m on the first rocket ship out of here. Do you feel the same way? Then this is the podcast for you.
Episodes
Thursday Apr 27, 2023
#0036—Wine UnNotes: D.I.Wine
Thursday Apr 27, 2023
Thursday Apr 27, 2023
Ever since wine making was invented, humans have asked themselves, “How many grapes do I need to make a standard bottle of wine and will shop-bought do?”
Curious?
Good.
Let's begin.
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
#0035a—Mammoth Meatballs Are Really Fake (Meatists’ Edit)
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Meat eaters get very upset with people who don't eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, that means more meat for the meatists? (Huzzah!)Plantists get very upset with people who do eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, heart disease will carve the meatists out of the population, thus reducing the demand for meat and saving the planet? (Huzzah!)Both sides can agree on one thing, though: fake meat is dumb.Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
#0035b—Mammoth Meatballs Are Really Fake (Plantists’ Edit)
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Meat eaters get very upset with people who don't eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, that means more meat for the meatists? (Huzzah!)Plantists get very upset with people who do eat meat. I don't know why. Surely, heart disease will carve the meatists out of the population, thus reducing the demand for meat and saving the planet? (Huzzah!)Both sides can agree on one thing, though: fake meat is dumb.Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Friday Apr 07, 2023
#0034—Why Easter Eggs?
Friday Apr 07, 2023
Friday Apr 07, 2023
How did eggs become associated with Easter?
The easy answer would be that eggs have long been a symbol of birth and new life, perhaps representing Christ’s resurrection. But that would be too easy. The real answer is far more interesting.
Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Friday Feb 10, 2023
#0033—Even Death Has a Patron Saint
Friday Feb 10, 2023
Friday Feb 10, 2023
The survival of the human race, nay the entire ecological balance of the planet, rests in the hands one person.Let's hope he never goes on strike.Curious? Good. Let's begin.
Thursday Feb 02, 2023
#0032—A Bottle as Big as a Parliamentary Majority
Thursday Feb 02, 2023
Thursday Feb 02, 2023
Imagine if you had the biggest wine bottle ever in your restaurant. Bigger than a person even. Much, much bigger.And it started leaking hundreds of litres of wine everywhere.Who would you call?
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
#0031—⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ This Episode Contains Casu Martzu
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
You'd think making cheese with maggots would be illegal.It is.That doesn't stop people doing it, though.
Friday Jan 20, 2023
#0030—The Great Emu War
Friday Jan 20, 2023
Friday Jan 20, 2023
In 1932, Australian soldiers armed with machine guns went to war with emus... and were forced to retreat.
Thursday Jan 12, 2023
#0029—Bees Are Fish, Honey Is Fish Paste
Thursday Jan 12, 2023
Thursday Jan 12, 2023
My daughter stopped the conversation stone dead at the dinner table by claiming bees are fish.Turns out she's right.
Sunday Jan 08, 2023
#0028—⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ This Episode Contains Castoreum
Sunday Jan 08, 2023
Sunday Jan 08, 2023
Do you know what castoreum is?You can use it as a vanilla flavouring, instead of using actual vanilla. It's approved by food authorities, including the US Food and Drug Administration, so all good, don't worry about it. Except... Would you like to know where castoreum comes from?
You're probably thinking, “What’s with the cat and the dinosaur?”
I’ll explain.
You see, the world is even more bizarre than you suspect it is. If you want to see just how bizarre it is, you only have to look at the pillar of all life: food and drink. That is one messed up scene, let me tell you, and a terrific lens through which to examine the human race. After all, without food and drink, we can't live. Also, without food and drink, why would you want to? If wine and cheese ever run out, I'm on the first rocket ship out of here.
So what can and can’t you trust here on The Gastronomer and in the gazette? Well, while I sometimes embellished a handful of the supporting story elements ever so slightly for comedic effect, the facts about food and drink are, as best I can verify, true. Nevertheless, don't go staking your house on them in a bet or anything.
Also I will sometimes go off topic and bring you stories that have only a tenuous link to food and drink, namely: health, fitness, sustainable living and cats. Occasionally, I’ll go completely off script, if I find something that’s just too good to keep from you.
Finally, what’s with the cat and the dinosaur? To be honest, they’re completely random, but they also fit in their own odd way. Cats and dinosaurs are mentioned in the early audio episodes of Wine UnNotes, which became Spierkater’s Gallimaufry, which in turn evolved into The Gastronomer. I needed some quick episode artwork. They were never intended to have any significance beyond that. But they started to grow on me as a representation of… me. The cat is a symbol of my curiosity. The dinosaur is a symbol of, shall we say, my mature status in life? And both no nothing about wine, just like me.
Every Friday morning, there will be a new edition of The Gastronomer’s Gazette (podcast and email dispatch—don’t forget to subscribe. It’s free).
If you fall in love with The Gastronomer, you can support the podcast and newsletter over on Patreon, where in return for your hard earned money you either get nothing extra at all or get early access to each episode, plus bonus episodes and other Gastronomerist treats in return for a small contribution each month. This money will eventually help me expand the scope of the project and invest more in recording and editing.